


Hey, Az

by daisyisawriter91



Category: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Heavy Angst, Hurt Crowley, I'm Sorry, M/M, Prayer, Sad Aziraphale, Unhappy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-20
Updated: 2017-12-20
Packaged: 2019-02-17 08:24:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13072992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daisyisawriter91/pseuds/daisyisawriter91
Summary: "He wanted to just roll over and go to sleep. But he knew he'd kick himself later if he didn't make one final journey. One more journey back to his angel."Crowley knows his time is up, so he talks to his angel on his way back home.(I'm evil and I'm sorry.)





	Hey, Az

Crowley didn't quite know what was different about this time. All he knew was that it was different.   
It had been an accident, really. A stray bullet intended for someone else had hit him square in the chest and now he was dying in the middle of the street while the rain pounded down.   
He'd already used his powers so that humans couldn't see him, so at least he didn't have to worry about anyone calling trifling ambulances. He wanted to just roll over and go to sleep. But he knew he'd kick himself later if he didn't make one final journey. One more journey back to his angel.  
So he picked himself up, knowing full well that he looked like, pardon the pun, Hell. He braced himself against a wall and started hobbling forward, one hand on the concrete, the other clutching his chest, trying in vain to stop the bleeding. He simply didn't care that his sunglasses were being left behind. When he saw the angel, he wanted to look him straight in the eyes.   
He thought of everything he actually cared about. His plants, his Bentley, and his angel. Not a lot, but they meant so damn much to him. "Hey, Az." Crowley's voice came out hoarse. He knew he must look mad, talking to an angel that wasn't even there in the middle of the pouring rain. He didn't care. He knew he might not get the chance to say it again.   
"I finally kicked it. And I don't want you thinking that I did a good deed, because I didn't. Wrong place, wrong time, that's all." He focused a bit more effort on taking the next few steps before continuing. "I sort of wish you were here. But I don't, at the same time. I want to tell you a lot of things, things that I have only been too cowardly to say before. And that was supposed to be your side's job. I wanted to say that I actually have grown fond of you, over the centuries. But I couldn't tell you. I think, at the moment, I've got nothing left to lose. Before, I just figured you would reject me. Or worse, think I was incapable of love. Because that's the thing about me, Angel."   
He paused once more to take a few deep breaths. This pain was really starting to get on his nerves. "I didn't fall. I'm not quite a proper demon. I know you always thought I was making a poor joke or something when I said I sauntered vaguely downwards, and for the most part, I was joking. But that's really the only way to put what I did into words."   
He fell silent as he thought of what else to say. "Hey, Az. The big guys down stairs are pretty pissed at me for the Apoca-nope. I'll probably be going to the ninth circle for that. That's the cold one, you know. Never before in my life have I wanted one of those ridiculous jumpers you always wore, but I suppose there's a first time for everything. I really wish I had one for the end. Even if it's the most hideous thing I've ever seen, I'll know it belonged to you. Damn, I'm getting rather soppy. Is this what dying does to you?" He looked up at the dark sky for a moment and vaguely wondered how far away that dusty old bookshop in Soho was. He knew it didn't matter, he'd make his life last until he got there, but still, the more time he had before he finally died, the better. It was such an odd thought, dying. Shaking himself out of this particular thought, he resumed his trek and began speaking again. It comforted him, talking to Aziraphale. Even if the fussy git wasn't there.   
"Hey, Az. Here's something I've been wondering about ever since Hell added in the nine circles bit. Does Heaven have nine circles? No, they wouldn't have circles, you lot hate to do anything that Hell would do. But squares, maybe?" He laughed at himself. "I am truly losing my mind." The bricks were slippery against his body and he had to do his best not to fall over. Once he fell over, there was no getting back up.   
He stumbled but caught himself before he fell face first into the pavement. "Hey, Az. Is it wrong that I want everything to be normal, just this once? That I want to get to your bookshop and have you scold me for staying out in the rain and doing that mother hen thing you do so well? Listen to me, asking about what's wrong and what's right to an angel. You'd probably think me mad. And, you know, I'm not sure I'd argue." His body was starting to shake and he was starting to lose focus, so he plowed forward. He felt his invisibility slip but he stopped caring. It gave him a bit more strength, not to keep up with the illusion.  
"Hey, Az. Though I'd never admit it to your face, I'm a bit sssscared. I'm never coming back. I always thought that when I died, it’d be at The End. The real one, where Heaven and Hell go up againsst each other. When I'd be your enemy. I don't like to think about it, but I really do know we're sssssuppossed to be enemies. What really terrifies me is that I know we'll end up in different places. I won't sssee you again after this. And I guesssss I've gotten used to you. I really wish you were here right now. That you could hear what I'm sssaying. I'd like it if you at least knew everything."   
He was gradually losing control of his hissing. His heart did something akin to singing when he finally laid eyes upon the bookstore. "Hey, Az. I'm home." He whispered. As if he'd heard his name, Aziraphale walked out of the store and looked right at him.  
"Welcome home, my dear." His chest lightened in relief at the voice. His journey was over. He'd made it. A few more steps and he'd be right in front of Aziraphale.  
"Az." he breathed. He pushed himself off the wall and stumbled forward, going slower than he wanted to. Still, he felt himself smiling. A real smile, not one he practiced. Aziraphale stepped down into the rain, hair getting instantaneously wet. They met halfway. Crowley couldn't keep himself standing and collapsed forward into his angel's arms. The angel kept them standing, taking all of Crowley's weight with ease. Crowley breathed in deeply. "Az, there's ssssomething I have to tell you." He croaked.  
"I know, dear, I know." Crowley felt a hand in his hair, stroking the strands softly. He heard Aziraphale tsk. "You're all wet. You should really not stay out in the rain so long." Crowley chuckled. The sound was strained. The pain was closing in on him. Pure force of will had kept him going and the pain at bay, but it was rushing in too fast, too fast, causing his vision to blur.  
"I knew you'd sssay that." He burrowed deeper into Aziraphale's arms, not caring anymore. "I'm glad I got to sssee you." Az tensed underneath him. "You heard everything I ssaid, didn't you?"  
"When you talk to an angel, he hears you, no matter where you are."  
"Good…I'm glad you heard." A moment of silence passed between them, broken only by the constant rain. "Angel?"  
"Yes?" The angel's voice broke but Crowley ignored it. He couldn't dwell on what Aziraphale felt. If he did, he might not have the strength to do what he was about to.  
"Thank you."  
"For what, dear?"  
"Everything." He lifted his face from Aziraphale's shoulder and pressed his lips to the angel's. The kiss wasn't passionate, exactly, but not chaste. It was something wholly other and over all to quickly. "Hey, Az? I'm getting rather tired."  
"Of course. You've earned a well deserved rest. Sleep well, Crowley. My Crowley." Crowley sighed in relief and slumped fully into Aziraphale.  
"I love you."  
"And I, you." Crowley's strength gave out and everything went black.   
He didn't end up noticing the silent tears streaming from Aziraphale's eyes. He didn't see the angel fall to the ground, clutching his body. He didn't hear the words whispered by the man, declarations of love and the demon's name, over and over and over again, and mostly, apologies. He didn't feel the lips on his forehead. He didn't even notice that with his passing, he'd broken Aziraphale permanently and beyond repair.


End file.
